These are songs which I don't feel are quite worthy of "publishing", but I still think have some value if for nothing other than sentimental reasons. You will find lots of cringe, lots of unfinished projects, and, most importantly, lots of lessons I've learned. This list will likely continue to grow as I continue to grow as a musician.
I will put things in reverse-chronological order (to the best of my ability), with newer stuff towards the top. Not only for the convenience of it being easier to see whether this list has been updated, but also because I perceive time as stacking up, as new layers of ourselves and the world build up on top of the past. My comments are also meant to be read from bottom to top. My music is extremely personal and is my best way of expressing my emotions. If you were to listen to everything I have here in order from bottom to top, you would get a very intimate view of my life. I'm not sure whether anyone else would be able to see it, but these songs are not just single isolated one-off incidents: they are interrelated stages of a larger living organism which moves and grows and goes through phases... they're a reflection of me.
Several items here have titles with the format "Voice ### (date)". These are simply quick recordings I did on my phone while playing around with potential new songs. I am not uploading all of them, just the more significant ones. Because these are recorded for my own future reference, they often begin with me demonstrating the tuning and deconstructing some of the chords before I actually begin playing. Many are improvised, or at least recorded within minutes of being written, so they serve as a pretty nice "musical journal" of my emotions at the time.
Voice 039 (August 16, 2020)
Notice the large break between 2019 and 2020. I was really busy at that time, then also with COVID I never had a quiet place to myself to record. This
was recorded a few weeks after I moved out to my own place for the first time.
One Day
I wrote and recorded this piano part all in one day, hence the title. I was getting frustrated with all of the unfinished work I was leaving behind, so
I thought if I could try to finish something quickly it would help boost my confidence. As you can see, that didn't end up happening. I wasn't able to get
any vocal takes I was happy with, and they're turned way down here to spare you the cringe. Also I tried a new method where I only recorded one line of singing
at a time, but as you can hear that was a bad decision because lines often run each other over.
Voice 024 (May 8, 2019)
I still plan on doing something with this >:3
Voice 022 (April 26, 2019)
Expanding on the highest-capo portion of Voice 011.
Black
Based on a song I heard in a dream long ago. I like the melody, but everything about this execution is just disappointing.
The Phoenix (Demo)
Yes, it does cut out twice, that's just me sloppily patching parts together.
Voice 012 (May 10, 2018)
Trying to make an intro to the previous voice memo.
Voice 011 (May 7, 2018)
The first instance of my OC donut steel "Drop A" tuning. I've considered using it as a standard tuning for music set in Pala's world. During the breaks
I'm putting on/moving/taking off a capo.
Voice 010 (May 2, 2018)
This one will become "Number 1" from "Top Five Reasons to Become a Furry Musician". This was originally written as a tribute to the furry fandom, and
is another song where each chord has a symbolic meaning. The final version has more chords, each with their own meanings as well.
Voice 008 (April 26, 2018)
This will later become a silly song which would be my first time combining both an instrument and singing. On the Squirrel Songs page I mention that
on my own computer that album includes several other songs which are raunchy inside jokes for IRL friends; this is that album's only unincluded
song where that is not the case. The only reason I am not uploading it is because I've shared it with people IRL, and no matter how small the
chances are I still don't feel comfortable leaving that risk for a connection to my real identity online. I do feel comfortable uploading this demo
however, since without the lyrics the song is a lot less memorable.
Voice 007 (April 25, 2018)
This one will become "Silver" from Aquarelle. Just putting it here to show the context of when it was written, because it marks a point when my music
starts getting a lot happier.
14 demo (April 20, 2018)
This was going to be an animated meme based on the whole "14 werewolves" joke which was popular at the time. In the planned video, a kid wishes for the
werewolves for his 18th birthday, and then that night they show up and dance with him while singing all of the extremely explicit things they'll do to him,
each werewolf representing a particular kink. I put a lot of thought and time into writing ideas for this, but there were just so many problems with it.
First of all, it's simply just kind of boring. Having 14 characters each sing their parts just gets monotonous before long. (Though to be fair I actually
mess up in this demo and play an extra line, making it 15 werewolves' worth, so it's not as bad as it sounds here.) Secondly, I am not an animator,
so this probably would have just looked bad. Thirdly, I never actually wrote an ending, which can be heard when this kind of falls apart at the end as I
depserately try to ad lib something. Fourthly, this would not at all have met my current standards of being (mostly) SFW, so I'm relieved that I never
actually recorded any vocals.
Voice 005 (April 13, 2018)
... but even the drop C can be hopeful for something happier.
Voice 004 (April 11, 2018)
I was even less happy this day. So unhappy I had to drop down to drop C tuning.
Voice 003 (April 10, 2018)
I was not very happy that day.
Voice 002 (March 29, 2018)
Kind of a bunch of disjointed ideas thrown together. Lesson learned: finger tapping does not work on acoustic.
Voice 001 (December 11, 2017)
I also really want to re-record this one as well, but again, I currently could not make it through nine whole minutes without messing up.
D demo (March 9, 2016)
A demo, of a song in drop D tuning. My oldest instrumental recording. I do want to try re-recording this one day, but pulling off four and a
half minutes of continuous playing without making mistakes is still beyond my current abilities. The part that comes in about a minute from
the ending was originally a different song where each chord had a symbolic meaning. Since it was too short to stand on its own, I threw it on
to the end of this.